Comfort

Yesterday was a normal Saturday, Sean and I woke up and went to Kneaders for some yummy french toast. We went to Shopko to start looking for a Christmas tree. Sean studied and updated all the finances while I swept, mopped, scrubbed out the bathroom, and put some clothes away. We went to Costco, came home for lunch and a movie/nap, then I went to the laundromat while Sean worked on his talk for Sacrament meeting today.
Amazingly after doing all of that, I still felt unexplainably down. I have been struggling with many of my feelings from highschool . Since our apartment felt like an oven, we went for a walk. We hadn't eaten so we found ourselves at Los Hermanos, the same place we went on our first date exactly one year ago yesterday. We ended up having a really great talk about depression. We decided that you can't really truly understand it until you have experienced it yourself. Not only must you experience it, but you must recognize that you are suffering from depression.
I have often wondered why some people suffer from such discouragement while others seem to go through life without it. Since many people I have been close to have struggled with various forms of mental illness, I am convinced depression and anxiety is more prevalent that anyone will admit.
However awful it is to feel anxious and depressed, it has given me a greater appreciation for my marriage. It is amazing to have someone there for me when I feel awful, fat, ugly, and unproductive to cheer me up and remind me of God's love. It is also wonderful to be that person to cheer Sean up when he feels sad and overwhelmed. I know Heavenly Father puts others in our lives to help us and comfort us. I know I lived with certain girls at certain times both to be comforted and to comfort them. My mom has always been there to comfort me and help me. I love the scripture in Mosiah 18 that says: "And now as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one anothers burdens, that they may be light; yea and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life."
It may be strange to be thankful for this trial, but I believe my marriage is stronger, my relationships with friends and family is better, and my empathy and understanding for others is greater because I understand that things are not always as they appear. People are all struggling and they just need love and acceptance without judgment.