Over the past few weeks I have been in a sad, depressed funk. Although I know there is so much to be happy about and I have constant encouragement from my dear husband and parents, I still feel discouraged at times. I feel like the things Sean and I are working for are righteous and good yet they aren’t coming very easy. It’s kinda scary to not knokw where we will be in a year and what we will be doing. Elder Uchtdorf said exactly what I need to hear in a perfect way in his address to the Priesthood brethren in last Springs General Conference. “Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can-working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!”
I have found a few other things that seem to cheer me up almost instantly as soon as I make myself do them. First, cooking dinner with Sean. Since my appetite has been weird and I am not to motivated to eat anything right now, Sean heads up the enforcement of family meals. It seems like no matter how grumpy I am and how un-hungry I feel, cooking with Sean cheers me right up. Second, playing the piano. I took lessons for many years and hated it. I never practiced and pretty much just wasted my mom’s money. I have started playing again and find that I really enjoy it. Sean is a fantastic in- home teacher ( I pay him with kisses and baked goods)! Third, spending time with my sister. I am so grateful to have her so close and I have to admit that it scares me that she won’t always be in the same city as me. It is really nice to talk with someone who has been through so many similar things as me. Fourth, church meetings. The spirit has been so strong in my church meetings lately, I feel strengthened every Sunday. Fifth, going to the dollar movies. I just really like it:)
So if you are feeling sad and wondering if you will ever be accepted to medical school, if you will ever graduate from college, if you will ever be able to afford anything, if you can really handle living away from family, or anything else. Just remember that patience means active waiting and enduring and if you do that and have faith and trust in the Lord and his plan for you, you WILL feel comfort.
Summer-part 2
4 days ago
I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time, Jennie. I can empathize. Mike and I are in a rough place too and trying to make a lot of decisions about our future, but with very little information. Maybe being in your mid-twenties, trying to finish school, and in the first few years of a marriage is just a hard place to be! :) But it's a good place too. This post was really comforting to me, especially because sometimes part of the problem is that it feels like everyone else has it all together and knows exactly what they're doing, and we're the only ones who don't. I'm glad you have such lovely things to help you feel better. :) I miss you a lot and I'm really excited to see you in December! (You will be at Megan's wedding, right??) Love you!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I just thought I would say that in my entire life, I don't think I've ever met anyone as good at fortitude and patience as you are! You were an inspiration to me in college and I always admire your amazing attitude. A hug.
ReplyDeleteI think you're fabulous, Jennie! Keep up the good work because I am personally certain that you and Sean have a bright and glorious future ahead of you. :)
ReplyDeleteDear Jennie,
ReplyDeleteOur hearts are touched to read about your struggles--especially dealing with uncertainty about the not-too-distant future. I am impressed that you seek for and find resources around you that lift you up--the talk by Elder Uchtdorf, turning to your husband to share cooking and music, and enjoying the blessing of having family nearby right now.
We are sure that great things are in your future! You already know that Heavenly Father knows you and cares about your challenges and righteous desires and I'm sure he has great blessings in store.
We love you and are so glad and blessed to have you in our family--we can't imagine a kinder, sweeter or better match for Sean. love, mom and dad p
Jennie darling- know one knows better than I do how you feel! the last year has been the same thing for me over and over again. But I have learned from it. Trying to get to the part where you find out how and where you are going to live out the next part of your life it so hard but it will be worth it! The lord takes care of you even when you dont realize it, I look back and there are so many times that the lord has carried me through the tough times and I know that he carries you too. 3 Nephi 13:30-34 is a scripture that I have read dozens of times over the last year and I acutally had come to me when we where at the temple when you took out your endowments and it just might help you as well. We love you guys so much! After the next couple of weeks are over you are going to have to come and have dinner with us, we would love to help you make sure that you eat!!
ReplyDeleteJennie-
ReplyDeleteYour last paragraph sounds like something I could have written replacing medical school with law school. Thanks for writing down what you do to cheer yourself up. :) I am glad you are playing the piano again. I have been taking voice lessons again and it is a wonder how much better you practice when you are not being forced to. :) I hope you feel happy and let me know if you need anything. On a further note - we need to get together for dinner/FHE/dessert or something while we are both still in Utah.